


Fallen Tears Bloom Anew

by kwillpleasedont



Series: one shots only one shots [15]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Also Jaehwan shoots Sanghyuk in his dream so be aware of that, Dreams and Nightmares, Han Sanghyuk | Hyuk-centric, I wrote this instead of an English essay, Jaehwan is kind of a dick in Sanghyuk's dream, Kid Han Sanghyuk | Hyuk, M/M, OT6, Vixx MV Scentist Inspired, Why Did I Write This?, this is not proofread
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 13:18:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14521398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwillpleasedont/pseuds/kwillpleasedont
Summary: Sanghyuk has the dream again.





	Fallen Tears Bloom Anew

Sanghyuk has the dream again, yet he can barely remember anything. He remembers the white piano, the teal car, the snake. He remembers the vividly bright red flowers and the smell of fresh roses. Sometimes, when he wakes up, he thinks he can really smell the flowers, the scent curling into his nose and staying there for hours.

Sanghyuk is six again in the dream. He doesn't know where he is or why. There are five men, five older men, and Sanghyuk doesn't know any of them. There's a drink, a red one, they won't let him have, no matter how sneaky Sanghyuk tries to be, they always catch him before he can take the first sip.

_Hyuk reaches a tiny hand out to shield his eyes from the blinding light streaming in through the large window in the small room. The walls and the floor are dark and Hyuk can just barely see, thanks to the sunlight. The stairs are there like they always are. He descends them and is met with the same stark white door he sees every night._

_He pushes the door open tentatively, with much effort. Grown up Sanghyuk is strong, he has to be, but Hyukkie isn't, he doesn't have to be. That's what N Hyung always tells him, he doesn't have to be strong because the hyungs are there for him. Hyuk has never believed him. Hyuk doesn't have a hyung._

_N Hyung is on him in an instant, picking him up and hugging him close. He spins Hyuk around, making his little head dizzy. He sets Hyuk back on his feet with a beautiful smile, but keeps an arm wrapped around Hyuk's shoulders. He steers him past the some of the men, leading him over to Leo Hyung's piano bench. He always gets to sit with Leo Hyung when he visits, N Hyung insists on it._

_Hyuk has never been able to understand what exactly they're doing or why. They're in a wide open white room, with small splashes of color here and there. Leo Hyung is at his piano like usual, Bin Hyung is staring down a beaker of red liquid like he's asked it a question and it won't answer him, Ravi Hyung is making more of that red drink Hyuk isn't allowed to have, and Ken seems to be having a staring contest with N Hyung's snake._

_N Hyung's snake has a funny name, that's how Hyuk remembered it. It started with an "R" like Ravi Hyung, but his name was even more silly. Hyuk was never allowed to play with Rovix, even though he really wanted to. Ravi Hyung has to shoo him away from Rovix's enclosure all the time, insisting that Rovix is dangerous and that he could hurt Hyuk. But Hyuk knows he would never - could never - hurt him._

_Sometimes, even though it's sad to think so, Hyuk fears that Rovix is the only friend he has. That Rovix isn't the real snake here. That someone else, one of the hyungs, is hiding in the grass waiting to strike in a time of weakness._

_"What beings Hyukkie home tonight?" N Hyung asks, like he does every night, like he expects an answer this time. Hyuk never answers this question, he supposes he will when he figures it out, but tonight he is quiet again._

_The phrase always makes Hyuk feel weird. This isn't his home, he doesn't live here, he wasn't raised here, he doesn't even know where "here" is, but N Hyung always calls it home. Hyuk doesn't even think it's a house. There are no beds, no bathtubs, and only two doors - the one Hyuk used to come in and the one Hyuk has never entered before. It looks more like someone's workplace more than anything._ _Bin Hyung's car is here, along with all his tools, Ravi Hyung and Ken's stuff to make the drinks are here, Leo Hyung's piano is here, Rovix is here._

_For everything they have stored in this large, white room, it seems so impersonal. It's always cold and Hyuk always sniffles, the cold stinging his little nose as hard as it can, like it's trying to warm him, scare him into leaving. Hyuk thinks he would, if he could find his way out._

_Hyuk listens to Leo Hyung play the piano while he watches the vases of red roses that sit atop it. Leo Hyung's moods seem to sink up with the flowers. When they wither, Leo Hyung is sad - a frown always found on his face and his eyes so downcast Hyuk thinks he almost looks asleep. When the flowers grow and blossom, Leo Hyung's smile lights up the room - it's such a rare occurrence that Hyuk is always blinded by it. When Leo Hyung is angry though, the petals turn black and fall from their place, landing all over his piano._

_Leo Hyung is scary when he's angry, but not as scary as Ken._

_Ken has a gun tucked into his pants and Hyuk refuses to look at it. Ken caught him looking at it once and the face he made was nearly enough to make Hyuk wet his pants right then and there. So Hyuk doesn't look at the gun under Ken's waistband, pressed so tightly to his skin that Hyuk is sure there must be imprints from the metal forming on Ken's hips._

_Hyuk doesn't know what he's thinking when he stands from the piano seat. Everything seems to be going alright by these standards - the petals are still on all of Leo Hyung's flowers, Ken hasn't looked at him once in distaste, N Hyung is singing a song Hyuk thinks he heard when he was younger. But he walks right over to the workbench where Ravi Hyung and Ken are at with nothing but determination in his eyes. He grabs a skull shaped bottle right out of Ken's hands and downs all the red liquid he can before Bin Hyung rips it from his grasp._

_It's bitter tasting on his tongue. It smells of roses and tastes of blood. Shining droplets run down Hyuk's chin and drip onto his white dress shirt. They are all silent as they stare at Hyuk before Ken's open palm stings his cheek. Hyuk can hear his neck crack as it turns from the force of Ken's smack. He can hear N Hyung yelling, at who he isn't sure, but he can hear it. Hyuk fears it might be him - that N Hyung is angry with him - he doesn't want N Hyung angry with him, he's always been so nice to Hyuk and now he's gone and done something like this._

_When he finally looks up at the five men, he sees that Ken's gun is no longer pressed into his waistband and is instead pointed at him. Now Hyuk can see who N Hyung is yelling at. Ken. He is yelling at Ken and not Hyuk. And Hyuk wishes he could be happy about this, but Ken has a gun in his face. So really, all he can do is panic._

_He runs for the other door, the one he has yet to go through, hoping for an escape. Just as his small hand wraps around the freezing cold door handle, a pain blossoms in his chest and he sees blood on the door. His fingers uncurl from around the handle one at a time and he presses a hand to his chest, over the wound._

_He turns around to face the men. N Hyung is crying, Hyuk isn't sure why, he's not in pain - he can't even feel it - so why is N Hyung crying?_

Sanghyuk wakes with a start. He throws the covers off and backs into the corner of his bed, knees tucked under his chin, hand pressed over where the wound on his chest would be. He knows that his roommate will come in soon, having to talk him down from a panic attack again, and he feels bad, he does, but he can't breathe.

Sanghyuk has never been shot but he thinks he can feel the pain permeating his insides and ripping them apart. He pulls his shirt off, imagining staining the white with the blood from the bullet makes him sick. He claws at his chest, his nails pulling sickening cross-hatches of red from under his skin, sticking under his fingernails, turning them pink. 

He can taste blood in his mouth as tears spill out of his eyes as he hears Sungjae's clumsy footsteps echo in the hallway. Sungjae nearly knocks the door off its hinges getting to Sanghyuk tonight. Sanghyuk's nightmares always leave him crying, but this time it seems worse. Sanghyuk has never cried this loud, or drawn blood, or choked on his own coughs enough to struggle for breath. 

"H-he- he shot me! He shot me! He's never done that before! Why would he do that?" Sanghyuk is frantic in his questioning, confusing Sungjae even more as he struggles to help Sanghyuk regulate his breathing. 

"Hey, hey, breathe for me Sanghyuk, okay? You have to breathe," Sungjae coaches. He reaches a hand out to pull Sanghyuk's away from his chest, but Sanghyuk cries louder. He tries to escape, driving him even more into the wall behind him, straining to get away from Sungjae's touch.

He passes out after twenty more minutes of crying. Sungjae is sitting on the edge of the bed and stares there all night. He left only once, to grab antiseptic and bandages for Sanghyuk's chest, but other than that he stayed and pet Sanghyuk's hair as he slept. Sanghyuk did not dream. He did not see their faces or hear Leo Hyung's melancholy melodies bleed through the silence of his slumber.

He wakes up with Sungjae on the phone, sitting on the window sill. The window is open and the sounds of the city flood in as the curtains sway around Sungjae and wrap around him like a warm hug. He smiles as he hangs up and comes to kneel next to Sanghyuk's bed.

"I need you to do me a favor." Sungjae's sweet voice begs and Sanghyuk knows he'll agree with whatever Sungjae asks.

 

He walks down the halls of the private practice office Sungjae has dragged him to. Sungjae had suggested that he see someone about the nightmares, that they'll probably go away once he talks to a professional. Sanghyuk doesn't agree, but he trusts Sungjae. Sungjae had said that the man Sanghyuk was meeting was very good at being both helpful and discreet.

Sanghyuk could do this.

A pair of men are walking towards them down the hallway, and Sanghyuk thinks they look familiar. They're both tall, roughly Sanghyuk's height from what he can see, but their hair are wild colors Sanghyuk wouldn't dream of dying his hair. The one has an odd shade of blue all over, while the one with the loud laugh has half of his hair dyed a soft baby pink and the other half lilac purple. The pair breeze past Sanghyuk and Sungjae without even looking at them and they're gone before Sanghyuk can place why they look familiar.

They reach the end of the hallway and open the door to reveal a white room with chairs to sit and wait in with magazines on a coffee table. There seems to be a water cooler filled with a red liquid that is definitely not water. Sungjae speaks to the man at the check-in desk as Sanghyuk takes a seat. When Sungjae comes to sit next to him, he has a cup of the red liquid in his hands. He takes one sip before grimacing and handing it to Sanghyuk to try.

Sanghyuk knocks it back and he smells roses, tastes blood.

And then his name is called.

He stands, ready to walk back and make peace with his fate, when he sees him. The man walking out of the office is so strikingly familiar that Sanghyuk nearly scratches the bandages right off out of fear of the pain the man will bring with him when he passes by Sanghyuk. He sneaks a peak at the man's waistband, hoping he won't see the press of a gun tucked into his pants.

Then he notices that the man at the desk is someone he's seen as well. Long, slender fingers pressing gently along ivory keys like they were an extension of himself. 

Sungjae nudges him back to the office and he hesitantly steps inside. The man Sungjae has sent him is sat on his desk, back to the door as he reviews some papers in the sunlight streaming in through the windows. Sanghyuk has seen those broad shoulders and that long neck before. Sure they look smaller now that Sanghyuk is closer to his height but that is N Hyung. It has to be. He turns around with a smile.

"You must be Han Sanghyuk, Sungjae's friend. Please, take a seat, get comfortable." N Hyung smiles and pours Sanghyuk a glass of the red liquid, setting it on the coffee table between them.

Sanghyuk takes catalog of the room; a vase of roses on his desk, a picture of Bin Hyung with his teal car on the wall, a picture of Leo Hyung and his white piano on the coffee table, a frame filled with a photo of Ravi Hyung and Bin Hyung holding each other tightly with beautiful smiles, a glass enclosure big enough to hold Rovix.

"My name is Cha Hakyeon, but you can call me N or N Hyung if you'd like, most people do. Shall we get started?" He asks, lifting his own glass of blood red liquid to his mouth and Sanghyuk's mouth falls open at how eerily familiar yet different all of this is to him.

"Have you ever gone by Hyuk? Or Hyukkie? Can I call you that?" 

Sanghyuk rests his hand over the bandages hiding just under his shirt and nods. He picks up the glass on the table and drinks as much of it as he can in one go before he has to pull back to breathe. He takes a deep breath, and then, his chest is clear.

He can breathe with N Hyung.

He can breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my own birthday lmao


End file.
